The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
