I just threw up on my dentist
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
