At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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