No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
