I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
