On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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