If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
honey bunches of taint.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
