We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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