Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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