Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
