Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
