Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
