My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
