Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Randomize
