i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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