I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
