I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
