We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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