you guys were way drunker than both of me
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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