Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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