capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
