My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
