Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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