Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
