Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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