butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
