So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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