Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
