How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
