Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so that wasnt chicken after all
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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