so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize