My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
