8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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