How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The best revenge is premature balding
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
