You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I am spending my child support on dildos
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
