when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
