my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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