As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
