I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
