when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
