she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
