My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize