well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
