I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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