apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
