you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
