Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I need a burrito and a hug.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
