tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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