Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
