The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm just crazy horny about you
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
i think i just lost a toe
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