Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
