About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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