the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
zippers are such a cool invention
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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