It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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